Category Archives: Femdom / FemDommes

femdom, femdomme, femdom-society, femdomme-society, domination, Female Domination, Female Dominants, domme, dominatrix, headmistress, mistress, lady, pro-domme, lifestyle-domme, Montreal, Canada

Training the American husband

husband_in_training

I thought this article might be of interest, particularly those FemDommes who are in an extended relationship with their submissive / boyfriend / husband… I’ve been using some of these techniques for years!

So, like many wives before me, I ignored a library of advice books and set about improving him. By nagging, of course, which only made his behavior worse: he’d drive faster instead of slower; shave less frequently, not more; and leave his reeking bike garb on the bedroom floor longer than ever.

… I listened, rapt, as professional trainers explained how they taught dolphins to flip and elephants to paint. Eventually it hit me that the same techniques might work on that stubborn but lovable species, the American husband.

The central lesson I learned from exotic animal trainers is that I should reward behavior I like and ignore behavior I don’t. After all, you don’t get a sea lion to balance a ball on the end of its nose by nagging. The same goes for the American husband.

Follow this link to read the entire article.

4th Annual Chinese New Year Dinner & Play Party (Jan. 31st)


Year of the Ox

4th Annual Chinese New Year Dinner & Play Party

Saturday, January 31st, 2009

Dinner at Food Resto Lounge: 8 pm to 10 pm
Play party at the Loft: 10 pm to 3 am

The FemDomme Society of Montreal & ClubFetish.ca , in conjunction with the Montreal FetLife Munch group, invite you to join us in celebrating the beginning of the “Year of the Ox” with a magnificent supper munch and play party! Your organizers and hostesses for the evening are HeadMistress Jade Dragon, Ms. V and Maîtresse Mai.

Socialize with your peers, make new friends, enjoy a delightful meal and have some kinky fun at the play party! After dinner, our group will take a leisurely walk over to the “Loft Le Chateau” for the evening’s play party.

This is a pan-sexual event open to the entire community (18+ years, dominant, top, switch, bottom, submissive, slave, male, female, trans-gender, gender-queer, gender-fluid, straight, gay, lesbian, poly, etc.) . Our dress code even allows fetish wear at the restaurant!

RSVPs for the dinner and play party are separate and are both limited in number, so be sure to make yours as soon as possible to avoid disappointment. If we receive enough RSVPs, we even get to have the entire restaurant to ourselves!!

For more complete details (addresses, map, how to RSVP, etc.) please visit the following webpage:

http://clubfetish-fetlife-blog.eventbrite.com

I hope you will be able to join us if you are in the Montreal area! It looks to be our largest FemDomme Society and Club Fetish event yet!

September 23rd – Bisexual Pride Day!

Bisexual_Pride_2

Bisexual_Pride

Since it’s inception in 1999, this day is a call for bisexual people and their families, friends and supporters to recognize and celebrate bisexuality, bisexual history, bisexual community and culture, and the bisexual people in their lives. This celebration of bisexuality in particular, as opposed to general LGBT events, was conceived as a response to the prejudice and marginalization of the bisexual persons by some in both the straight and greater LGBT communities.

For female bisexuals in the Montreal area, there is a great group you should check out called “Bisexuelles“. They hold small gatherings at a café in the Gay Village about every two weeks, where you can meet, chat and discuss topics of interest with other bisexual women.

For more info, check out their online announcement list, or look for the Bisexuelles event listings on the ClubFetish.ca Montreal/Ottawa Calendar of BDSM, Fetish & Kink events. Their next event will be held this coming Thursday evening, the 25th of September.

Review of the FemDomme Society Chinese New Year Dinner

rat_stamp

I recently spent several weeks of intense promotion and organization for this year’s annual Chinese New Year Dinner Munch, on behalf of the FemDomme Society and ClubFetish. It has been a rather hectic time for me, with so many last minute details that required my personal attention.

Unfortunately, on Friday, the day before the dinner event, my poor sweet alpha submissive, toriko, came down with hot and cold chills and a nasty fever of 99.4°C, (his usual temperature is 96.5°). I decided to drive into town and pick him up from work early, as he sounded horrible over the phone, with hardly any voice — I seriously did not want him to try to maneuver the public transportation system while he was in that shape.

I brought my pet toriko home and proceeded to tuck him into his floor mat at the foot of my bed. That way I could keep a close watch on him while I continued with various last minute preparations for the next day. Despite a few coughing fits, he slept like a log for over 15 hours; which did seem to help him somewhat. He did have a brief peak of improvement for a few hours during Saturday afternoon, but he quickly tired out again. My poor houseboy *really* wanted to attend the dinner and play party, however he agreed that it would not be the wisest thing to do under the circumstances. I reminded him how he had encouraged me to stay home for health reasons when I had come home from the hospital and that this time around it was his turn to take it easy and concentrate instead on getting well.

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I originally started this tradition of celebrating the Chinese New Year about 10 years or so ago; with a completely different circle of friends. Gradually it came to include more and more of my kink friends until I decided to simply launch it as a kink community event three years ago. The beginning of the Chinese New Year can vary from late January to the third week in February; and I’ve found that often by mid-February most folk are looking for a good excuse to dress up and go out to enjoy themselves after surviving the holidays.

In past years, we averaged 12-15 or so guests, however this year we received quite a bit more interest. In fact, we received many RSVPs during the last week leading up to the event; however we had a few same-day cancellations due to illness, work, and family reasons. There were also a few no-shows, most likely due to the snowy weather, bringing our actual tally of dinner guests to a total of 35.

I decided to wear my new black “corset” skirt, with elegant ribbon lacing up the back; combined with my shimmery red asian-style jacket, as red is considered a good luck colour in Chinese culture. I wore one of my favourite bezelled black stone necklaces and matching earrings and a silver earcuff as an accent, and a long braid down my back.

I was blessed with the assistance of Lady Evyl, who assisted with checking in the dinner guests as they arrived. I chose to offer discreet nametags and colour-coded dots, for those who wished to self-identify either their D/s orientation and/or availability. Pretty well everybody chose to have one, as it made it much easier for remembering your neighbouring dinner guests’ names, which in turn made it that much more conducive to conversation.

I was pleased to be able to welcome such a wide range of guests, from Dominants and switches, to submissives and slaves, and all genders from male and female to transgender. Among the guests were some of my dear friends: Domina Jade, Sir Marc, Miss Kinky, Maddog, Lady Nikki, and of course, my housemate, Lord Michael. Several submissive friends were also there including sabine, slave ricky, pima and BackSeatBebe, as well as two of my play partners JF and Lady Roxy. Although my alpha submissive toriko was not there, my new probationary submissive “g” was there at my beck and call throughout the night. I was also very happy to see one of my old submissives, minimike, and we got to spend a little while catching up with each other.

There were several members of some of my online discussion groups from ALT, as well as some local kinksters from CollarMe. We were even lucky enough to welcome a few guests all the way from Ottawa! Everyone was very friendly and open for discussions both during and after dinner.

The majority of our guests decided to go for Hot & Spicy’s “Taster’s Choice” menu in order to sample from the variety of over 85 dishes available. I was truly surprised when my probationary sub “g” mentioned he had never been to a Chinese restaurant in his life; and so I had him seated across from me and made several choices of dishes for him to try (keeping in mind his dietary health restrictions).

We finished off our dinner with my now traditional and popular “kinky fortune cookies”; this year I even managed to have both english and french versions. They were a great hit, particularly with the guests who had never been to any of our previous Chinese New Year dinners.

We had managed to secure a discounted entrance rate for our guests if they chose to join us at the fetish play party that was being held afterwards at the Loft Le Chateau, located in Montreal’s Gay Village. It was a great way for some of the novices to be gently introduced to the BDSM play scene; so that they could observe, learn and ask questions. About half of our guests braved the evening’s snowfall and decided to join us for the night’s fun.

I must admit that I had a wonderful time at the Loft making use of some of my favourite playmates and spending time with friends, both old and new. (I’ll be posting more about my play party scene in a later post.) Several people came up to me during the evening and told me how much they had enjoyed themselves, both at the dinner as well as at the play party. All in all, it seems like it was a great success and I look forward to organizing similar events in the months to come.

** (I am still not fully recovered from my stint in the hospital ICU and I found it took me a full two days to recuperate after the whole dinner event and play party. At least I am aware of this now and can make sure to be able to take the time to rest and get some of my energy back when I attend events that tend to drain me…)

3rd Annual FemDomme Society Chinese New Year Dinner (Feb. 9th)

Year of the Rat

I have been very busy lately, organizing our 3rd annual FemDomme Society Dinner, which is being held in conjunction with Club Fetish. We will be celebrating the beginning of the Chinese New Year of the Rat.

The event will be held at restaurant Hot & Spicy in the evening of Saturday February 9th, 2008, and is open to the entire kink community (Dominant, switch, submissive, slave, top, bottom, male, female, transgender, gay, lesbian, etc.).

We look forward to having you join us; full details and other information can be seen by clicking the RSVP button below:

Meeting new friends and old during the holidays

Ever since I’ve gotten out of the hospital, I’ve been craving to get out and be with my friends. Although it was only two weeks; it really felt like I was away for a whole month. The drastic change of weather certainly did not help to make the transition any easier either. So although I am still recuperating, I’ve decided to slowly start attending events again, as the socialization really helps to cheer me up.

munch cup

On December 12th, my submissive toriko and I attended the Saturday Lunch Munch in Lasalle. I hadn’t been able to attend it in quite some time, so it was nice to see the organizers Laird Dave and Lady Renata once again.

I had the pleasure of meeting Lady Evyl and mellian at the munch. Discovered that we were all a bit geekish at heart and ended up staying another two and half hours *after* the munch ended, just chatting and getting to know each other.

My submissive and I were planning on attending a fetish party at the Sky Complex later on that evening and invited the two of them, but they were unable to make it. Hopefully we will be able to drag them out again in the future to other local BDSM and kink events.

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On Thursday, December 20th, my boy toriko and I dropped by the Fétiche Store for a little “Martini Party” that was organized so that newcomers might have a chance to meet some of Montreal’s more experienced community members. It was a bit late by the time we arrived, but it was *so* very nice to see Isabeau again!

While we were there, I had my beautiful boy-toy toriko try on some of the latex t-shirts from Blackstyle. Some of them fit his slender frame quite nicely, but there was one model that looked particularly handsome on him as it complimented his shoulders very well. Most of the shirt was made from black lycra with the front panel in black latex, see-through netting shoulders, with a pair of horizontal net inserts on the chest.

Afterwards, toriko and I went out to dinner nearby with ricky and one of his friends. I find it’s very difficult to go to restaurants nowadays; since I got out of the hospital, I must watch my food intake extremely carefully as I am not allowed more than 8 or 9 grams of fat per day. That’s really hard to do with only a restaurant menu to go by! The waiter however, was extremely helpful in helping to customize a dish that would work for me.

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The next night, I attended Isabeau and Sébastien’s Fetish Addiction play party at Station C, along with my submissive toriko. Since it was the holidays, I wore my favourite red leather corset but I couldn’t find a santa hat that fit me in time for the party. I met up with my friends Domina Jade and her partner Master Tommi, Sir Marc and ricky. I got to give some birthday spankings with my giant spanking paddle to a friend of mine, as her birthday had been only a few days earlier.

I met a few new people; including a new female switch “J” who is very new to the community, as well as dark curly-haired submissive “b”, who is apparently an excellent foot massager. I was in the mood to play a bit but my toriko still had a touch of a headache, so I asked ricky to see if he could find a suitable casual play partner for me. He brought “g” to me, whom I had been speaking to earlier in the evening and we negotiated a medium level paddling and flogging. It did me quite a bit of good to get out some of my “play energy” that night, even though it tired me out quite a bit.

After the play party, myself, Sir Marc and toriko walked over to the nearby Club Sandwich for a bite to eat and chat before heading home. I think we must have arrived home close to 6 am and I slept quite soundly and took it easy for the next few days before Christmas.

New addition to my submissive stable

leash

Several weeks ago, I had been contacted via CollarMe by a young local male submissive. By his message, I could tell that he had actually read through my *entire* profile, and had digilently answered the preliminary questions that are found at the end of my profile.

Even though he is quite young by general kink community standards (21 years old), I found him to be refreshingly honest and mature in both his replies to my questions, as well as his general communications. Based on his overall application and respectful attitude, I decided to schedule an interview with him. Unfortunately my scheduling caused a delay of a few weeks before we were finally able to work something out to our mutual convenience.

It’s very common for many submissives to be terribly nervous when they meet with me for their personal interview; no matter what their age… It seems that many are intimidated by my title of HeadMistress of the FemDomme Society, combined with the fact that I am rather visible in the local BDSM/kink/fetish community, both in online groups/lists, as well as in real life.

Although I can most definitely be strict and in control at times, my everyday “style” of dominance is generally a more relaxed one. I do not want a household where I need to “crack the whip” all the time to keep things under control. As a result, when I meet with prospective applicants for a personal interview — I also respect a submissive as being another human being. They may *be* a submissive — but they are not yet *my* submissive. This often surprises them, but I clarify that this is an *interview*, they are here for me to get a sense of them as a person — it is not a “session”.

If successful, this young man would be in frequent contact with my alpha submissive, toriko; so I decided to bring toriko along with me so that the “new boy” would be able to meet him as well. It was my belief that it might also help to put him at ease, both during the interview, as well as being able to know to whom he would also be dealing with other than myself, in terms of some of his future training.

The three of us broke the ice by chatting lightly about various topics while we waited for our tea and munchies to arrive. I briefly went over some of the points covered in his written application for some clarifications. Although obviously still a bit nervous, he expressed himself quite well, all while being respectful and polite.

This young man seems to have much more of an interest in being a “service submissive” rather than a more D/s relationship; which is fine with me, since that is one of the areas I had been trying to fill. I don’t mind training a novice submissive, as long as they are truly willing to learn, are dedicated enough to stick with it, and are honest and loyal.

I decided to consider him under a probationary status, to see how things might work out between us. We then discussed the possibility of this potential “new houseboy” attending Isabeau’s fabulous Fetish Ball with myself and my kinky entourage, as it was to be held the next evening. That, however, is a story that will have to wait for another entry…

ADDENDUM: Only a few days after the Fetish Ball, kenjiro lost an immediate family member through a fatal automobile accident. It has been agreed upon that he shall be taking an indefinite leave of absence in order to be able to take the time to come to terms with this tragedy.