Category Archives: submissives

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The Annual End of Year Cycle

I suppose it shouldn’t surprise me anymore, but about this time every year, I get a sizeable upswing in profile views and contact messages through my profiles on various kink-related websites.

End of Year

One could easily assume that kinksters are facing the end of another year and looking forward to making new resolutions for the New Year — and that includes revving up their kink life!

In fact, on one website alone (Alt.com); I’ve received something like 5 times my usual/average amount of monthly views in December alone! This sort of thing continues for the first month or two of the year, as people start feeling a little house-bound and “antsy” because of all the wintry weather…

What does surprise me is the number of male Dominants that view my profile — I mean my profile name alone makes it pretty obvious that I am a FemDomme, so it’s not just casual browsing looking for a submissive. In fact, some of them come back again and again.

Perhaps they are not so “dominant” as they like to appear? I have had so-called “Alpha Doms” come crawling on their virtual knees, begging for play sessions to satisfy their submissive urges — but I have a hard time taking them seriously if they can’t even be honest with themselves and at least list themself as a “Switch”. And of course, they want this all to be “oh-so-discreet”! Seriously? Not gonna happen.

Have any other FemDommes out there had to face this “hidden” side of male Dominants — either in public or private? Please share your experiences, either in the comments below, or by sending an email via this blog.

Training the American husband

husband_in_training

I thought this article might be of interest, particularly those FemDommes who are in an extended relationship with their submissive / boyfriend / husband… I’ve been using some of these techniques for years!

So, like many wives before me, I ignored a library of advice books and set about improving him. By nagging, of course, which only made his behavior worse: he’d drive faster instead of slower; shave less frequently, not more; and leave his reeking bike garb on the bedroom floor longer than ever.

… I listened, rapt, as professional trainers explained how they taught dolphins to flip and elephants to paint. Eventually it hit me that the same techniques might work on that stubborn but lovable species, the American husband.

The central lesson I learned from exotic animal trainers is that I should reward behavior I like and ignore behavior I don’t. After all, you don’t get a sea lion to balance a ball on the end of its nose by nagging. The same goes for the American husband.

Follow this link to read the entire article.

Montreal FetLife Munch and Play Party

Yesterday evening, there was a wonderful FetLife munch here in Montreal, organized by Ms. V. It was held at a restaurant in the middle of the Gay Village and turned out to be quite the affair with about 70 attendees!

It was great to see a lot of old friends — Sir Marc, Mz. Tina & Mr. O, Lady Evyl, Countess Alura, minimike, slave ricky, sub g, drakor, and of course, Ms. V and Master André. It was lovely to meet several new people in person as well — Agdistis, NaughtyTrix, deblouses and kinkygentleman, amongst others.

I only planned on putting on my black leather corset at the Loft, but ended up putting it on over my white blouse at the restaurant — much earlier than I expected. However, my back injury was starting to ache quite a bit, and that corset really *does* help support my back extremely well. I don’t think I would have made it through dinner without it.

There was also a play party being held at the Loft that night and a number of attendees from the munch came to the party as well. For several of them, it was there first time attending a munch or a play party and I’m sure it certainly opened their eyes.

slave ricky and sub g were sweet enough to arrange for a lift to the Loft’s front door and back again to my car afterwards, which was parked near the restaurant several blocks away. It certainly helped to make a big difference not having to walk all those blocks, or to have to drive around looking for parking in the rain.

I got to spend some time with my big-little leather brother Sir Marc, catching up on various topics of discussion. One of my former submissives, minimike was there and I ended up doing a light mummification & wax play scene with him. he was surprised and pleased to have been able to have a few new experiences to add to his repertoire.

I also got to watch a fucking machine in action; it’s made by a local Montreal kinkster who has been spending quite a few years developing them. They are quite the machines, with a huge range of motions, speeds and pre-sets. The company is called Hugher Technology, in case you’d like to check them out…

It was really a wonderful event and I am looking forward to any more local FetLife events that are organized…

Article – Bondage Lovers Lead Happier Lives

Found an article today that might be of interest to my blog readers…

Happy Bondage article pic

An unusual sex survey has found that Australians who enjoy bondage and discipline are not damaged or dangerous, and might even be happier than those who practise “normal” sex.

The research showed two per cent of adult Australians regularly partake in sadomasochism and dominance and submission-type sexual role play.

And contrary to commonly-held stereotypes, they are not doing so in reaction to sexual abuse or because they are “sexually deficient” in some way, according the study of 20,000 Australians by public health researchers at the University of NSW.

Check out the rest of the article here and come back to post your comments; I’d be interested to read your opinion on it.

Montreal’s International Kinky Festival, August 7-10th

International Kinky Festival

So as many of my regular blog readers have realized by now, Montreal is a downright kinky city — full of lovely decadent folk and plenty of perverted activities.

This weekend is an exemplary one, because Montreal is hosting the first annual International Kinky Festival; complete with plenty of great workshops, various parties and of course to top everything off, a grand Fetish Ball! Here are a few other hightlights to look forward to:

My amazing “little sister” Domina Jade presented one of her workshops last night, entitled Dirty Talking, which I’m sure was a total success as usual.

Montreal’s former Sex Geek Andrea Zanin, now living in Toronto; will be returning to our kinky city to present two workshops, including one on the Pleasures of Female Fisting on Saturday afternoon.

One of my friends from California, the reknowned sexual educator and author, Midori, will be presenting Scene Dynamics and Psychology of Rope Bondage on Saturday afternoon, and later on that evening will be doing a mind-blowing suspension show along with Kumi Monster, at the Dark Fairy Tales Fetish Ball, to be held at Bain Mathieu.

I plan on attending the Fetish Ball along with my alpha submissive toriko, as well as the company of Sir Marc and Lady Nikki; I’m awaiting confirmation from the rest of my leather family as to their attendance…

All in all, I am looking forward to a wonderfully exhausting weekend absolutely full of kink!

Review: Private Double Dungeon Party (Feb./Mar.)

melting candle

Maître Ex hosted another of his marvelous play parties at his private dungeon on the south shore of Montreal. This one was a double feature; being held on Friday the 29th of February and Saturday the 1st of March. It was unfortunate that my alpha sub toriko was not feeling well enough to attend, however my probationary sub “g” was there to attend to my needs.

The first night was a bit on the quiet side, due to the snowy weather being not particularly conducive to driving. Sir Marc, Maddog and Lady Evyl were both in attendance, so we did some socializing while sitting around the lovely wood burning stove — what a great atmosphere for catching up with kinky friends.

Lady Evyl had a chance to try one of my corsets — I recently sent it back to get a small repair done and the company sent me back a new one! However, I have lost a significant amount of weight since I first got it and I wasn’t really looking forward to spending months molding it to my figure again. Evyl looks magnificent in it as the length suits her taller frame much better. So we’ll probably make arrangements for her to take it off my hands, so that I can purchase a new leather corset in a smaller size.

If you’d like to see how good she looks in the corset; have a look at her CollarMe profile — there is a pic of her in a black leather corset with a bullwhip on her hip. That’s the pic I took of her when we were at the dungeon. I must admit that it is a particularly flattering shot!

Later on that night, I lent my favourite chrome flogger to Evyl so that Maddog could give her a few flogging pointers so that she could refine her techniques.

I, on the other hand, got to have fun doing a sensual hot wax scene with submissive “v”, an older and refined silver-haired gentleman of my acquaintance. Afterwards, he showed his gratitude by getting on his knees and giving me a very welcome and lengthy foot massage — he certainly does know how to do it well on me, gently stretching the tendons in a “that-hurts-so-good” kind of way and with some deep tissue massage on the heel of the foot.

After the evening’s fun at the dungeon, a bunch of our kinky friends joined us for our traditional breakfast at Picasso’s; a wonderful way to end a great night of BDSM and fetish fun.

Review of the FemDomme Society Chinese New Year Dinner

rat_stamp

I recently spent several weeks of intense promotion and organization for this year’s annual Chinese New Year Dinner Munch, on behalf of the FemDomme Society and ClubFetish. It has been a rather hectic time for me, with so many last minute details that required my personal attention.

Unfortunately, on Friday, the day before the dinner event, my poor sweet alpha submissive, toriko, came down with hot and cold chills and a nasty fever of 99.4°C, (his usual temperature is 96.5°). I decided to drive into town and pick him up from work early, as he sounded horrible over the phone, with hardly any voice — I seriously did not want him to try to maneuver the public transportation system while he was in that shape.

I brought my pet toriko home and proceeded to tuck him into his floor mat at the foot of my bed. That way I could keep a close watch on him while I continued with various last minute preparations for the next day. Despite a few coughing fits, he slept like a log for over 15 hours; which did seem to help him somewhat. He did have a brief peak of improvement for a few hours during Saturday afternoon, but he quickly tired out again. My poor houseboy *really* wanted to attend the dinner and play party, however he agreed that it would not be the wisest thing to do under the circumstances. I reminded him how he had encouraged me to stay home for health reasons when I had come home from the hospital and that this time around it was his turn to take it easy and concentrate instead on getting well.

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I originally started this tradition of celebrating the Chinese New Year about 10 years or so ago; with a completely different circle of friends. Gradually it came to include more and more of my kink friends until I decided to simply launch it as a kink community event three years ago. The beginning of the Chinese New Year can vary from late January to the third week in February; and I’ve found that often by mid-February most folk are looking for a good excuse to dress up and go out to enjoy themselves after surviving the holidays.

In past years, we averaged 12-15 or so guests, however this year we received quite a bit more interest. In fact, we received many RSVPs during the last week leading up to the event; however we had a few same-day cancellations due to illness, work, and family reasons. There were also a few no-shows, most likely due to the snowy weather, bringing our actual tally of dinner guests to a total of 35.

I decided to wear my new black “corset” skirt, with elegant ribbon lacing up the back; combined with my shimmery red asian-style jacket, as red is considered a good luck colour in Chinese culture. I wore one of my favourite bezelled black stone necklaces and matching earrings and a silver earcuff as an accent, and a long braid down my back.

I was blessed with the assistance of Lady Evyl, who assisted with checking in the dinner guests as they arrived. I chose to offer discreet nametags and colour-coded dots, for those who wished to self-identify either their D/s orientation and/or availability. Pretty well everybody chose to have one, as it made it much easier for remembering your neighbouring dinner guests’ names, which in turn made it that much more conducive to conversation.

I was pleased to be able to welcome such a wide range of guests, from Dominants and switches, to submissives and slaves, and all genders from male and female to transgender. Among the guests were some of my dear friends: Domina Jade, Sir Marc, Miss Kinky, Maddog, Lady Nikki, and of course, my housemate, Lord Michael. Several submissive friends were also there including sabine, slave ricky, pima and BackSeatBebe, as well as two of my play partners JF and Lady Roxy. Although my alpha submissive toriko was not there, my new probationary submissive “g” was there at my beck and call throughout the night. I was also very happy to see one of my old submissives, minimike, and we got to spend a little while catching up with each other.

There were several members of some of my online discussion groups from ALT, as well as some local kinksters from CollarMe. We were even lucky enough to welcome a few guests all the way from Ottawa! Everyone was very friendly and open for discussions both during and after dinner.

The majority of our guests decided to go for Hot & Spicy’s “Taster’s Choice” menu in order to sample from the variety of over 85 dishes available. I was truly surprised when my probationary sub “g” mentioned he had never been to a Chinese restaurant in his life; and so I had him seated across from me and made several choices of dishes for him to try (keeping in mind his dietary health restrictions).

We finished off our dinner with my now traditional and popular “kinky fortune cookies”; this year I even managed to have both english and french versions. They were a great hit, particularly with the guests who had never been to any of our previous Chinese New Year dinners.

We had managed to secure a discounted entrance rate for our guests if they chose to join us at the fetish play party that was being held afterwards at the Loft Le Chateau, located in Montreal’s Gay Village. It was a great way for some of the novices to be gently introduced to the BDSM play scene; so that they could observe, learn and ask questions. About half of our guests braved the evening’s snowfall and decided to join us for the night’s fun.

I must admit that I had a wonderful time at the Loft making use of some of my favourite playmates and spending time with friends, both old and new. (I’ll be posting more about my play party scene in a later post.) Several people came up to me during the evening and told me how much they had enjoyed themselves, both at the dinner as well as at the play party. All in all, it seems like it was a great success and I look forward to organizing similar events in the months to come.

** (I am still not fully recovered from my stint in the hospital ICU and I found it took me a full two days to recuperate after the whole dinner event and play party. At least I am aware of this now and can make sure to be able to take the time to rest and get some of my energy back when I attend events that tend to drain me…)