Typical letter addressed to a FemDomme

Horny computer guy

Typical letter addressed to a FemDomme, as found on a LiveJournal who wishes to remain uncredited…

Based on my own personal experiences on both ALT and CollarMe, it’s an incredibly hilarious and rather accurate view of some of the sh*t many of us FemDommes have to deal with on a regular basis from the “do-me” men on those sites.


Dear Mistress,

Do me, do me, do this to me, do that to me, do this other thing to me, wear these clothes while you are doing it, force me to do these other things, and by the way I expect some kinky sex acts.

Here is a picture of my big hard cock for Your pleasure. I’ve only sent it to 6,342 women on this site so far, so it should make you feel really special that I’m sending it to you too. I won’t pay you money because pros are so selfish and demanding. You have to do *all* this stuff to me just because You like it, and if You don’t, then obviously you are not a “Real Domme”.

I didn’t actually read your profile and I could care less about what you are looking for or who you are as a person. I just want you to wear sexy clothes and do me. I’m married and sneaking around, so discretion is a must. I expect you to stay in your dungeon and never talk to me if you happen to see me on the street with my real friends and family. I can’t give You my phone number or my real name either. But I’m really, really submissive. In fact, I am your total sex slave.

To prove it, here is another picture of my big hard cock in bondage. If you’re a Real Domme, you will write back immediately. If you don’t write back, you’re just a fake, so fuck you, bitch.


Your Slave


Seriously, I know so many of my Domme friends and I have received tons of similar letters in our in-boxes over the years — it seems to be part and parcel with being on those sites. It certainly wears thin after a while though…

3 responses to “Typical letter addressed to a FemDomme

  1. LOLOL, i’m glad to say i have never written a letter even remotly Do Me but then i’ve never been a Do me,

    me am a well trained boy for my Mistress. 🙂

  2. LOL yes I have had my fair share of DO ME letters. But this one really takes the cake.
    The other “Jade”

  3. Mistress Jade,

    Thank you for posting this. First, it made me laugh big time. The author is witty.

    Second, it clicked for me. I’m somewhatnew to online sites like ALT and wondered why I keep getting the same responses. Glad to see it’s not me, it’s them!


    Mz Doxy